Wednesday, June 22, 2005

fast fish quotes followed to odd places

i have to say there's a part of me that wants to see a Great White in the water off the Jersey Shore. not, you know, eating people or anything, just kinda being there.
Bob Schoelkopf, director of the Marine Mammal Stranding Center in Brigantine, New Jersey said photos of the wound confirmed it could only have been made by a Great White. Schoelkopf said there was no reason for people to change their swimming habits because of the latest incident, noting "there's a greater chance of getting hit by lightning" than of being bitten by a shark.

i can think of any number of unusual things to do with fish, but hiding them in my skirt had never occurred to me. then again , i'm not Australian...
While examining the 43-year-old woman's bags...officials reportedly heard "flipping noises from the vicinity of her waist".

9-foot-long sturgeons are ruining plans to create a gambling barge. the image that comes to mind is a Maverick-style showdown.
The Silver Slipper could be one of the first gambling properties to take advantage of a new state law that allows putting casino barges on pilings - if a fish doesn't get in the way.

& now they're modeling cars after fish.
With the sort of journalistic initiative too rare in today's hurly-burly world, we asked this authentic Australian ichthyologist what he thought about the Bionic Fish Car.

& if you're emotionally invested in the origins of fish, i.e. the process of evolution & whatnot, & if you're tired of the Scopes Monkey Trials ("shall inherit the wind... etc.) then you may enjoy this open letter to the debate in Kansas on whether "intelligent design" should be taught. actually, you're interested no matter what your views. trust me.

that's all from Fish News Central's command center for today. i leave you with this to ponder:

In the Second Scroll of Wen the Eternally Surprised, a story is written concerning one day when the apprentice Clodpool, in a rebellious mood, approached Wen and spake thusly:
"Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?"
Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: "A fish!"
And Clodpool went away, satisfied.

--from Thief of Time, Terry Pratchett. (you can read an excerpt of the first chapter there.)

8 little fish:

Blogger transience swam up to say...

i love the links. thanks.

10:38 PM  
Blogger anne swam up to say...

At long last I find somebody who shares my beliefs. I've just bought the tee-shirt.

3:12 AM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

"no reason for people to change their swimming habits because of the latest incident"...and here I was thinking of slathering myself in peanut butter before jumping into the shark infested New Jersey waters...Darn it!

8:30 AM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

OMG they made discworld stamps!!

yes, i, too, am a geek - what of it?

10:38 AM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

I need to read some more Pratchett. They only one I've read is the excellent Pratchett/Gaiman collaboration Good Omens.

In fact I've read it several times because I find it so hysterical!

12:22 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

transience: you're quite welcome. i consider it my duty to keep track of fish activity--of a certain sort, anyway--in the world.

anne: yay! you're on of us! er, what t-shirt, exactly? is this a koan?

carl v: i didn't know that peanut butter elicited any sort of reaction from great whites. ah, you learn something new everyday, here's me thinking they go into a frenzy over, y'know, blood n guts.
or the thrashing of limbs in the water. too much Jaws reading i guess.

& the hilarity in Good Omens is almost entirely Pratchett's; not that Gaiman isn't a master of the absurd or anything, but the deadpan, monty-python-esque style is in all the Discworld books.

mysfit: i see...postcards in my future.

12:34 PM  
Blogger oldben swam up to say...

the tshirt promoting spaghetti monsterism, jennnn. this theory does hold water. take, for instance, the elevation of meatwad's status (aqua teen hunger force) into the upper echelons of our popular culture. who better to be the high priest of spaghetti monsterism than a meatball? just put a pirate outfit on him and we're set. since i hate kansas, maybe i will go back there and hurl hundreds of meatballs at the state legislature. that would be fun.

3:35 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

i'm with you! meatballs away!

or maybe we could send to meatballs to hungry children, & hurl snowballs or water balloons into the legislative body of kansas.

6:56 PM  

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