Thursday, June 23, 2005

the fish flashes back

stealthily lifted from forgottenmachine, because i like to think about time.

10 years ago:
was actually a really bloody awful time in my life. i'd have been just finishing up my freshman year of high school in Atlantic City. the student population, in fits of end-of-the-year joy, were setting trash cans on fire & calling in bomb scares (eventually the fire department stopped responding to the alarms, & teachers would extinguish the fires themselves & go right back Drawing or Chemistry or whathaveyou.) i was reeling from a catastrophic experience that led all my "friends" at the time abandoning me as a liar & a slut, the faithless bastards. all except one girl who knew the truth &, incredibly, stood up for me. we weren't even all that close before that. but in the future of ten years ago, we'd spend the summer, a dynamic duo, on day trips to Ocean City, being alcholics, discovering the weird experience of marijuana (in the back fields of Maryland, & in the plastic bubble at the top of the slide on the playground next to the Margate Police station--what, i didn't say i was a bright teenager. my sheer foolishness neared enlightenment at times.) Ah, Monique, wherever are you now?

a younger jenn see, June 1995.

5 years ago:
my hair was the shortest it's ever been. i'd have just moved back from doing my time in the Midwest, having lived in Indiana for a year. i lived at home for a month, the longest stint since the spring i turned 17, & just being within smelling distance of the ocean was like the nectar of the gods, & i'll never forgetting taking the man we saved from Indiana (we said, "screw this. you're coming with us. New Jersey deserves you.") down to see the ocean for the first time. i couldn't even fathom it, 21 years old & never saw the sea. it was a beautiful moment. by the end of June, i would have made the fateful move to New Brunswick, thus beginning a strange & surreal chapter in the saga that is me. (hah! i'm a saga now, am i?)

the ocean at last, June 2000.

1 year ago:
i'd have been living in New Brunswick with mysfit & oldben. we had a balcony, & a psychotic white cat (with therapy & medical treatment she's become able to live a normal kitty life, except that she seems to think a certain pair of my socks are her kittens) & another cluster of our friends living down the street, close enough to be neighbors. there were militias of cute, hyperactive Hispanic children, a rock & roll house across the street, & an Irish pub full of punks & pool tables just down the block. there was a media glut, a sudden influx of Stephen King's The Dark Tower, & drinks at the Old Bay's beer garden. there were Happy Anarchy shows, & a cocktail party around the home-built bar in the big room on Joyce Kilmer Ave. there was the most recent in a long line of car wrecks, & the resulting death of my Neon, La Luna. there was the Borgata, sabayon, birthday parties & surprise guests, the Hungarian Festival, thunderstorms & Harry Potter, melodrama, t-shirt making, & the beach, Lawrence of Arabia, cell phones, & the first gig of Staten Island's only jug band. the joys were in the details.

cocktail party, June 2004.

yesterday i was on a quest for anime con photos (since all mine got eaten--chomp). yesterday a sudden tsunami-like thunderstorm pummelled my windows with water & knocked over all my plants. i love summer. yesterday i felt very Audrey Hepburn. yesterday i got to carry my umbrella around Williamsburg. yesterday i saw dancers in a reflecting pool, a psychotic vaudeville-with-a-goth-twist puppet show (ah, weirdness for weirdness's sake), & bands that did great things involving brass. yesterday i kept losing my shoes. yesterday the reflecting pool was cloudier than it was last year, & the seated figure sculpture was gone. yesterday young girls danced with floating candles in water to a tribal drum. yesterday they were handing out free hot dogs. yesterday i met gentlemen who i dubbed "Sunglasses" & "Hat". yesterday was the first time ever that a stranger winged a HA cd at my head (don't worry, they missed. drunk donkeys.)

thunderstorm, 22 June 2005.

i play with galapagos photos (yes, the tourist has them). i drink coffee. i wake up to warm kisses. i learn that in the middle of the night i said "DO NOT EAT THE PILLOWS" very seriously. i watch Speedgrapher 9 & 10 & Bleach 37. i write this instead of being productive. i misspell "galapagos" fifty times. i plan a picnic. i stage a lightning trip to the grocery store. i locate the missing Bubblegum Crisis cd. i call my mother about Colorado. i look forward to the evening.

the Martini Red show will be packed ("pegged"--long story) & go late. the projector may be involved somehow. the new jug band baby will not be in attendance. i'll snap another couple hundred photos. i will stop shedding skin like a snake (little bit of positive thinking there). i will spend some of the afternoon in the sunshine. i will remember to schedule my doctor's appointments. i will try to answer the 100-word challenge. i will take joy in my summery existence.

17 little fish:

Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

consider your fishy selves tagged.

5:28 PM  
Blogger anne swam up to say...

your tomorrow sounds like a hell of a plan.

6:36 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

ach, the best laid know, gang aft aglay & whatnot.

6:46 PM  
Blogger Lorena swam up to say...

you always have something interesting to say!!! you lead an exciting life. great photographs. love the b&w.

10:04 PM  
Blogger transience swam up to say...

always nice reading about someone's else's life like this.

10:07 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

I just started watching Bleach awhile back. I'm really enjoying it, the manga as well!

As always, LOVE the pix!

1:50 AM  
Blogger forgottenmachine swam up to say...

"(hah! i'm a saga now, am i?)"

Jenn, I reckon that's the truest thing I've heard all week......

As always, restless and fleeting and recherché and stirring and ambrosial....

I shall carry with me this sense of being alive for the rest of the weekend.


2:09 AM  
Blogger theleftsock swam up to say...

ahh, 5 years ago eh? are you sure it happened?

2:13 AM  
Blogger theleftsock swam up to say...

oh, and arugula is a vegetable.

2:21 AM  
Anonymous Fence swam up to say...

i too once had a psychotic white cat. She never really got cured, but she settled into motherhood eventually.

But then she had a run in with my father in his car...

10:21 AM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

jenn, im not sure the motherliness proxy feels for your socks is all that unusual - iseem to remember a particular pair of gloves...

10:32 AM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

anne: & tomorrow is now today, & there are some things i knew that i should have written in, & there may be things i have written that don't occur...ah life! o life!
(sorry, got a bit romantic there.)

lorena: i'm fortunate when i can realize that my life is exciting while i'm living it.
at the same time, no matter how many things have happened or been done in the last decade, the tone remains the same (i guess because i'm one person, & that unifies things a bit:) so that it's kinda like the ocean, things changing & moving every moment, but kinda the same thing overall.

transcience: it is--if it's not boring. i'm relieved that it doesn't seem to have been boring.

carl v: i think i have a crush on Ichigo (i know, he's only 15...).
there were some fantastic Bleach costumes at that anime con...but i s'pose you'll have to take my word for that.
i is fun to be following a tv series every week, though. it's not something i've done in awhile. but they come in every thursday, like clockwork.

& i'm glad you dug the pics, though i am a little surprised that no one commented on my 15-year-old self's graffiti-scrawled bedroom wall.

that is not a lit cigarette, by the by. i only ever smoked in my parents house very very late at night out the window. & i almost always got caught.

machine: i'm pleased you found something to carry away with you. just thinking about it has made me more cognizant of my personal flow of time...which is always a good thing to carry.

fence: white cats are a species unto themselves. like calicoes, those crazy bitches.

& in my experience, cats & cars never go well together.

mysfit: true, but this is like--the next level, or something. she's going to be 5--i think in cat-years she's now "older" than me--which is weird.

12:30 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

sock: i'm certain it happened. i have the pictures to prove it.

thereby validating my archive-driven existence.

& i would never forget such a thing about arugula.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

I have to admit that I didn't even notice the graphitti on your walls...must be getting too old. Did this make you popular with the parental units?

3:05 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

i just thought of a very-funny-in-a-bad-pun-sorta-way cleverism:
"meme" as a compound word, a combo of "me" and "me".

har har.
thought i'd share.

3:43 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

That is clever since most of these memes are about oneself.

3:51 PM  
Blogger LiVEwiRe swam up to say...

I'm glad you got my memo and are forwarding the info to others; I know I distinctly reminded you to not eat the pillows... =) Really great post! Thanks for taking the time.

6:45 PM  

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