Monday, July 11, 2005

road to the wildwood inn

1.

singing something
about mountain people
the way nets hold them in
billowing thunderheads blooming
over equal sides of the highway

i hadn't meant to be
so exuberant
flailing wrists & hands
out rattling windows
as though
i were trying to fly

& rain whirled down with
all the fury of the highway gods
but the way out
was there,
luminescent blue between spumes
of spray,
plumes of swirling
thundercloud,
& the way opened up
without fanfare, with no rainbows,
we drove on
in & out of mist
headlong to higher elevations

2.

images i can almost taste reaching like songs revolve
in my head, the long thin lines of light
at slow shutter speeds, animals airbrushed
into the scene. i had a dream
this morning. it was a telephone call, & he said
something unreal.
through the static i responded:
i don't think we should be
having this conversation. it was
a strange dream.
when i woke
i flipped the jukebox
in my mind to play
a different song
but the image
will not go.

6 little fish:

Blogger Jay swam up to say...

I never knew a fish you could write poetry before.

10:06 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

I like it! I found myself picturing the latest images from the Tourist site as I read it.

1:35 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

jay: that's the most koan-like compliment ever. i think it's a compliment. still not enlightened yet, though, i'll get back to you when i get it.

carl v: it's all about the simultaneous art.

2:08 PM  
Blogger Daniel Heath swam up to say...

"& the way opened up
without fanfare, with no rainbows,"

that's a keeper.

6:26 PM  
Blogger Mandala swam up to say...

The reciprocating comment system:

You leave me a comment. (Which you did.)
I check out your page. (Which I did.)
I paint two pennies with envelope glue, lick them, and stick them to your blog. (Which is this comment.)

My favorite line (one of many in this post): "the long thin lines of light // at slow shutter speeds, animals airbrushed // into the scene." Two completely different pieces of imagery that blend so well, even as they jar you.

The only line I really have a question on: "images i can almost taste reaching like songs revolve // in my head," I think there could be a better line break choice for this, that would make the second line more powerful.

Like I said, it's only worth two sticky, saliva-covered pennies.

11:35 AM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

monkey0: glad you appreciate them, those lines were the impetus for the whole first bit.

mandala: (secret handshake of those who are members of the reciprocity society) i almost did something else with those images, because they are jarring, but decided for the moment i like being jarred (&, er, shelved in a root cellar somewhere north of here?).
know what you mean about line breaks. ask mysfit, she knows too.
i dunno why, they're my way of being a little belligerent, maybe?
but that line'll prob'ly change in revision.
that's my change for your 2 cents.
do feel free to continue to leave such contributions in the little box.

ps: "it's so stimulating being your hat."

12:44 PM  

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