Monday, August 22, 2005

unemployed fish

i hate looking for jobs. it's such a strange mixture of self-promotion & abasement. & you never know what to expect, from the garbled act of talking business on a cell phone to the strange looks sneaking out sideways from the girls behind the counter. ah, the thought of 45 hours a week at the Staten Island Mall. shudder.

i thought i'd worked all this out when i started work at an animal hospital in the spring, but no.
why, i ask, would you hire someone full-time & fail to have the necessary hours available? scrape, scratch, beg, every pay period...the kicker was when they started sending me out to other hospitals to fill in; they're not at all near each other, & suddenly i'm sitting in a recently-flooded old brownstone attic with a decade's worth of dead animal files to sort? ahem? & then the 12-hour-shift at a hospital i'd never even seen, on Memorial Day. sorry bout your old dog ma'am but i don't know who the doctors are, or who's in charge, or where Poochie is...or if he's still alive even...believe me, i'd tell you if i knew, but there are hundreds of people & they're all wearing scrubs...

i was not meant to wear scrubs.
neither was i meant to work, i think.
so now i'm unemployed again, albeit less likely to rave at the universe or blankly state my miserableness.


Nermyl, resident cat at the Animal Hospital of Staten Island, Spring 2005.

i don't think i'm going to get the position i interviewed for today, but that's ok, because the idea of Holiday Season at the Staten Island Mall makes me twitch. yelp. you'd think they'd mention that a coffee shop's in the mall; it so completely alters the definition of "coffee shop".
it would have been fun to manage one...more interesting than being a legal secretary anyway...but the mall (shakes head despondently).


labels, AHSI, Spring 2005.

i have no idea why it's been so hard for me to find work. too much else going on, maybe (although the phrase "freelance photographer" seems to work wonders when i explain i need such-&-such time to go on the road with the band) or maybe my heart's just not in it. i don't like feeling like i don't like people, but honestly...some of those potential fellow employees/employers just irk me...my inherent snobbiness maybe, or some misplaced screw-you-i'm-a-Jersey-girl mentality.

alas, alack. all this whining gets me nowhere. once more into the want ads, then.

16 little fish:

Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

ugh...sorry...I've been on the other end doing a ton of interviews lately and I feel for you. No matter what side of the desk you are on interviewing for jobs really bites!

I hope something wonderful comes your way soon, fishy!

3:49 PM  
Blogger anne swam up to say...

It won't help when I tell you I relate, but believe you me, I do. And I totally understand the "I wasn't made to work" thing. I wasn't either...
Why not try and make it as a freelance photographer? I'm sure you've given it some thought.

5:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous swam up to say...

stay tough. life sucks sometimes but the alternative is even worse. make some money, keep on writing and taking photos.

8:17 PM  
Blogger MrGonSings swam up to say...

Best of lucks with the search!

10:40 PM  
Blogger the wheel swam up to say...

Ugh, I hate job-hunting. I just went through that a few months ago, so I know how you feel. The whole process can be really degrading. Good luck Jenn, I know you'll find something that makes you happy (and pays well, of course:-)

11:05 PM  
Blogger theleftsock swam up to say...

and strangely enough i got a new job today. professional fish as they say. i think i lost your new number by and by. im sure its around here somewhere with my solid gold elvis and my carvings of the sea scrolls on old toenails. so good luck wit da job hunt i know how much it completely and totally hate it.

11:10 PM  
Blogger banzai cat swam up to say...

Aye second that. Why not really go into being a freelance photographer? I always found the photographers in our newsroom as a cool breed of people.

2:49 AM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

job hunting is by far the worst full-time job in the universe, becasue it is just that -

jenn seeeeee, i think a freelance photographer is a fantastic idea. however, with freelance work, it's kinda like working all the time, being your own boss and promotional director, but getting paid by someone else. it takes a lot of work and self-motivation. think you're up to the challange? :)

10:53 AM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

thanks for all the motivations speeches! i feel better! i want to go for a walk!


carl v: i bet you'd hire me in a nanosecond. too bad you're out in (shudder) Kansas.
or too near it for me, anyway :)

anne: why not? well, i have thought about it, & concluded a) don't think i'm good enough & b) don't have the capital to make it. you need equipment, & some method of developing &/or more equipment. i have...er...not much.
one day maybe.

anonymous: the alternative is worse? don't worry, i'm not at all suicidal...not having a job isn't bad at all, it's not having money that sucks.

sock: yay! professional sock!
& since i know for a fact you've found my number, does that mean you've found Elvis as well?

banzai: i am definitely a member of a cool breed, as it were, but see a) & b) above...besides, the only paper round here i'd actually want to work for would be the NY Times...& i'd have to get really good, really quickly.

mysfit: nah, all i need is a wealthy patron. know any Barons in need of a photographer?

12:31 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

Thank you for clarifying that I do not indeed live in Kansas. We Kansas Citians on the Missouri side are highly sensitive about those folks!

Send me your resume, I'll get ya hired right quick!

1:37 PM  
Blogger Daniel Heath swam up to say...

(do you have to be in the business to get a spool of those "WILL BITE" stickers, or will they sell those to just anybody?)

6:54 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

um, carl v, only if i can telecommute. no more midwest for me. but thanks for the thought...

monkey: you can probably order them from somewhere...but only those in the business know where...& sadly, that no longer includes i.
i did steal one & put it on my cell phone, when it failed to stick to my cat.

7:18 PM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

carl - you're in kansas city, Missouri? i've been there - nice place, much better than the Kansas side :)

10:38 AM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

Yep, KC, MO! I really love it here. There are enough fun and interesting things to do, there are great parks, restaurants, hiking trails, shopping areas...all of which I enjoy. There are some cool comic and art people who live here and overall I enjoy the weather patterns. I'm happy.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Chemical Billy swam up to say...

jenn, empathy on the job-hunting drill. Mr. Billy's in the same stew, and not so long ago for me.

But - you never know - I thought my current job was just going to be a placeholder/do for now kind of job, and whaddya know, I fell in love with it. Full time is still too much, but I'm working on that part.

So - it can happen.

11:42 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

but i was not meant to work, i swear.

3:35 PM  

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