Tuesday, December 27, 2005

stream-of-consciousness fish after having vanished from the net for a bit

as though i were an extra-clever dolphin, but really it had to do with fields of numbers, though on the surface it was something else entirely, more like children's books or something reel-to-reel. the purpose of holiday gifts is to embolden the generous impulse, the bright side of what everyone else is doing; it revitalizes our tired little lives, all thin & cold after so much experience, with shiny things, new things, things we've never had before, things to read & puzzle over & take measurements of & fit into a space. new things in a space make a new space. i have too many theories about space. i am eating cherry almond bread; it's delicious but wants to be something else. like me, perhaps, only not really. i am not the Black Swan chardonnay i am drinking, which is not as bad as it sounds. sometimes home can be more like home than ever, just as sometimes the sea disappears in the fog diffused by streetlights, or how sometimes there is never enough time. maybe i have too many Plans. i wish i had a collection of those little pinecones that fell from the infinite hedge on Linden Avenue, they were tiny & perfect like tea roses, who never answer my messages. i wish i understood the dream about the vampires running a restaurant, or the dirty looks in the old bar--actually, no, those i understand, but the immortal lives of small pumpkins i do not. i feel personally responsible when my camera fails me. how to capture a drop of water, a microsecond?

3 little fish:

Blogger monkey 0 swam up to say...

don't feel personally responsible.

in the garden of Eden, every picture Adam and Eve took was flawless. in the fallen world, the stain of original sin corrupts everything. don't blame yourself... it's a metaphysical impossibility to take a perfect picture.

9:15 PM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

ah monkey, you're so cool - yes jenn, i have seen some sort of light and it was very bright - tell me what kind of camera you have and if you are still using that tiny little free digital one

10:16 AM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

mysfit: nah that one died years ago...i got a canon powershot for my bday in march (from which event arose the tourist, shaking its wild hair...um...)
but it's still just a machine, i have to make it do what i want.
& the lenscap's a little busted. sigh.

monkey: i really like the idea of adam & eve as photographers in the garden. a lot. it goes places & makes me giggle.

12:14 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home