Wednesday, July 06, 2005

episodes of strange and unusual fish - part 8

alright, so the fish has been calling my name all through my dreams and i've realized that everyone can see the pictures but me. well, at least on this computer, all i see are spots, for no apparent reason. don't ask me about the gray picture in part 17, i don't know, but if you click on the pic you can see my darkside.

so i guess i have failed to mention the bizarre things i do to computers. jenn see knows the way machines can respond to one's personal physical energy. she destroys stereos or rather stereos commit suicide around her.

forget quantum and the cosmic loaf (with marmalade)!! step right up, because we have undeniable proof that you affect me and that i still have a gravitation pull on Neptune - even if it is very small. you can't deny it, because i won't hear no for an answer.

story 1: every now and then my old laptop would give me a pop-up menu "system is unstable - press ok". there were no other options so i pressed ok and returned to what i was doing, unhindered.

story 2: for about two weeks the a: drive (yes this was a few years ago - i still had a 3.5 floppy diskdrive) ceased to work entirely. well, that's not completely true. placing a floppy in this drive would crash my computer unless i took the following steps (in order): a) place disk in drive; b)immediately turn off active desktop; c)press button on drive to remove disk (don't get nervous that the disk doesn't pop-out); d)go to my computer and double-click drive; e) turn on active desktop. then the drive worked fine - see simple. after about two weeks, i never had trouble with the drive again.

please share your strange encounters with machines in the comments section and please, don't step on the mushrooms

{unfortunately Song of the Purple Mushroom Fish is an intrumental}

11 little fish:

Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

a brief description that can be applied to most of my experiences with stereos:

the length of time has varied with each system, so call it "after awhile". After awhile, every stereo i've used more than once begins to show signs of some sort of electromagnetic possesion. weird lights & sounds ensue, & over time i had to develop complex systems of tricking the damn thing into remembering that it was s'posed to play music. weird descriptions show up on the display. it turns itself on & off. it turns itself on & off all the time. i had one that kept popping its cd tray out at me; i swear it was the stereo equivalent of the damn thing sticking its tongue out. smart-ass possessed thing. duct tape may get involved at this point, along with projectiles & fits of cursing (er, that's me, not the system). system ends ignonimously smashed at the curb.

i just got rid of another one recently; every conceivable function had malfunctioned. even the tape deck.

at least the main one still hooks up to the dvd player, tho how long that will stay sane i don't know.

(tvs are a whole other story.)

2:08 PM  
Blogger theleftsock swam up to say...

should be system is unstable, click "oh shit"

2:31 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

Most of my 'strange encounters' with machines involve judging just how hard I can kick them to a)not permanently damage the machine and b)still get some satisfaction out of the kick.

My wife's CD player in her car chooses times at random that it refuses to spit out the CD when asked. Sometimes weeks will go by before a push on the 'eject' button will produce the desired results...not a good thing when you listen to library borrowed books on CD.

6:27 PM  
Blogger anne swam up to say...

My laptop is going slightly, slowly but surely, mad. I'm scared.
Apart from that, machines have been rather nice to me so far.

6:49 PM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

sock: ah, you remember mysfit's laptop.

carl v: i had a tape deck in my old neon like that. had to be very careful what i put in there, cos there was a fair chance i'd be listening to it for weeks.
it helped to turn the car on & off, but i don't know if that'll solve your problem.

anne: be sure to wear radioactive protection while operating your laptop. the first time's always the worst.

world in general: i love white wine with thunderstorms & shattered mirrors.

7:48 PM  
Blogger the wheel swam up to say...

I immediately thought of the original Nintendo (circa 1985). Those things hardly ever turned on without a struggle. Everyone I knew had a method of getting the blasted thing to turn on that was unique and specific to their machine alone. I had to blow in the cartidge, jam it in hard, tap the side three or four times, and then gently bang on the top with my fist. (Holy crap, I just re-read what I wrote in the previous sentence and realized that those words could be taken completely out of context:-P). I had to do this each time I wanted to put a game in, and I had to follow the same combination each time if I wanted it to work.

8:28 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

hehehe... :)

11:04 PM  
Blogger JP swam up to say...

My CD player refuses to let me listen to Sonic Youth's Bad Moon Rising more than once a week. When pressed for a reason, it beeps sardonically.

Light bulbs hate me to the point where they prefer suicide over enduring another instant of my company. The bulb in my bedroom burns out about once a month. I have no idea why they grudge me illumination, but the people who make the damn things aren't complaining.

Computers seem to like me, even though I know little about them. Small mercies.

1:46 AM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

jp - sound like your CD player doesn't want you to overdose on such good music. as for the light bulbs, you're on your own bub.

anne - try naming it, i find that helps, not with the insanity part but with the remaining useful part.

sock - i know you have one, come on, share with the class - btw, sorry i din't call you, i lost my cell last week.

skrambled - i remember those! one of my friends had to put two cartirdges in at once. i like taking things out of context:

"I had to blow in the cartidge, jam it in hard, tap the side three or four times, and then gently bang on the top with my fist."

YAY Library books - carl, you sould check out Audible.com - serviously, you love it.

jenn - tvs?

11:26 AM  
Blogger phylos swam up to say...

I've read about people who blow street lamps. They walk down the street and all the lamos go out as he/she passes. Something to do with the individual's electromagnetic field maybe?

8:25 AM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

certainly

10:36 AM  

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