Thursday, October 06, 2005

once upon a fish

Once upon a time, (which is how all good stories begin), there was a girl named mysfit. Well, that wasn't her "real" name and noone really ever called her that except in print, but since this is printed I guess that'll have to do. Now, this girl lived in a far away kingdom and the only way she had of communicating with her myriad of friends all over the world was through a little weblog called "i am following my fish". It was called thus because she understood about fishes and wishes and wogs and following one to the other was about the best thing mysfit could do.

One day, mysfit realized that she had followed her fish right off the edge of the map - past the point where it said "Here There be Dragons", past all the sea serpents (which she waved at) and right off the end of the world. Other fish-followers called out to her but she was listening to thievery corp on her mp3 player and couldn't hear them yell. See what they were unhappy about, was not that mysfit was following her fish, nor even that she had fallen off the edge of the world but that she had neglected to pop into the Fish and say "CHEESE!".

so here it is, say 'Cheese'!!! good good, now a fun one: say 'meme'!!! (all of you are tagged)

misconceptions/misperceptions i had as a child (many of which have proven untrue):

1)i thought that only really special/official people could make trucks and pens with business names on them or make official documents - like these things were sacred or something. perhaps it's because i grew up with computers, but still - i have made and printed legal (and legally binding) documents in my home and there's something not quite right about that.

2)i thought people made babies by french kissing (enough said).

3)i thought that my birthday (11/19) was 5 days before christmas. this one has only proven to be false because they added more days between the two. it's amazing how there seems to be more days in the year and it still seems to go faster.

4)i thought that was i going to be really really tall (like 7ft). damn 5'4" damn being short.

5)i thought i'd be with my first boyfriend forever. that this misconception was proven false is kinda a tragedy (because love let me down) and kinda a triumph (because he was a jealous hypocritical self-righteous asshole).

6)i never thought i'd live past the ripe old age of 18. (ha! well for those of you who are counting, suddenly you have a hint about how old i am, if you care).

7)i really want to know where my flying car is. i was promised a flying car - i swear if this misconception doesn't come true in my life time heads are gonna roll! oh and why aren't we living on the moon yet? slackers.

8)when i was young i could control time with my mind. i'm not kidding. whenever i was late walking to school i would make time stand still or even go in reverse by visualizing the epitome of all clocks (digital of course, most likely atomic as well) and then i would make it do what i wanted with the force of my will alone(exhausting work, let me tell you). the weird thing was when it worked, i didn't see a living soul on my walk - no cars, no people, no cats, nothing - and i was always on time. the few times i did see a creature on my way to school, i was late because it wrecked my concentration. not because i was surprised that the creature moved but just because it was there at all. you see, though i knew i could control time, there was no way that i could control other people/creatures. the creature's mere appearence ruined the fragile mental image that time was standing still or moving backwards for everything but me. the perception that i could control time, though somewhat false originally, was only proven totally incorrect through a profound alteration in the space-time continuum. i countered the change by redefining time and the battle for ultimate time control still rages.

9)i thought i could talk to squirrels, but have since realized that they have nothing useful to say.

Well that's about all i can come up with for now: TAG! you're it!!!

12 little fish:

Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

i can just see you as a child, scrunching up your face with the effort of stopping time.

this is a good one; i have a few bizarre childhood misconceptions that could use some airing...

i'm totally with you on the flying car. we should start up some kind of lobbyist group.

hopefully we'll be treated to tales of off-the-map fish-following.

1:35 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

Welcome home Mysfit!!!

I remember sincerely believing at one point that I could fly.

I went through a period where I would sit on the ground and talk to ants and just knew we were on the same summer I did this with bees as well.

I believed wholeheartedly that we would all be living in/traveling through space by now. Blame Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica for that one!

I remember a really popular song with the chorus "Its so funny, how we don't talk anymore"...I used to think they were singing "disco bunnies...." until my mother laughed out loud at me one day and pointed out the error of my ways.

My Teddy Bear used to be my ultimate protector against the forces of evil...this is probably still true but now I have a wife as a human shield since she sleeps on the side of the bed closer to the bedroom door. :)

4:04 PM  
Blogger forgottenmachine swam up to say...

Firstly, my suspicions that you are supremely cool have become further entrenched by your mention of Thievery Corporation...

Secondly, my first statement is unfortunately now under a cloud of doubt, as I have indeed known some rather fine squirrels. Plus, they roll a damn fine smoke.....

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous swam up to say...

i thought i could fly.
told everyone who'd listen at school that i could, and would. that very afternoon, in actual fact.
gave it a go.
gravity works well.
alix was here

9:56 PM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

FM - aw i'm blushing, theivery corp is awesome! however, i am not denying that there are fine squirrels, i am merely asserting that no matter how fine the squirrel nor how well-rolled the smoke, communication thru language is useless to them - they only use words to yell at cats, much like the frechmen in Search for the Holy Grail.

carl - i missed you - they're not say disco bunnies? then what is the line?

11:00 AM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

Despite my mother and others insisting that the line is "Its so funnny..." I stand by my convictions that it indeed was "Disco Bunnies...". It was the 70's after all, a quite happening time for dancing hares.

11:33 AM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

i like your version

12:32 PM  
Blogger Carl V. swam up to say...

Me too...although I actually despise that song with a passion.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Chemical Billy swam up to say...

You may have been promised a flying car mysfit, but I was promised a personal jet pack.

And a flying machine that I could pedal. The uncle that promised me that invented the cell phone instead.


1:29 AM  
Blogger jenn see swam up to say...

was the one invention somehow related to the other? i'd love it if it was...

11:39 PM  
Blogger tescosuicide swam up to say...

5'4... perfect. ;) I never thought I'd make past 34.

12:18 AM  
Blogger mysfit swam up to say...

hehe... old man :)

12:36 PM  

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